the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
