whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
