Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
