New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
