just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
