guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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