Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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