I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
