i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Damn victory sex feels great
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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