Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
