Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you would pick up someone in the library
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
