its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
