I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
