so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
