I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
