the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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