I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
