Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
