why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are the jesus of drinking
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
