how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize