Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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