Her vagina should come with caution tape.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
