last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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