can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
