If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
