Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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