i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
