No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
