Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
