he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize