WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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