I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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