Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.