1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize