I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
