I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
this just has baby written all over it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now