This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.