whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize