Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
