Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
