shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
