Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
