Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You smell like stripper and shame
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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