lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
