i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
