why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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