sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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