There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
