I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
