watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I see more hoeing in ur future
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
