your thong is hanging out like whoa
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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