if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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