i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
do nipples grow back?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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