I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
