im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
