I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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