Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm at about main and main street
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
50% drunk capacity currently
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
