So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I look better un-naked...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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