Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
