remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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