Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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