i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
