apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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