somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
