I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize