Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
