how can u be prego again
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
