I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
