No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.