Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.

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  (518): Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/f3k6
  Replies (14) Good night (2767) Bad night (690)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  The one in Montpelier?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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  (802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv
  Replies (53) Good night (630) Bad night (2359)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

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  (541): I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album. http://tfl.nu/to1v
  Replies (10) Good night (1432) Bad night (3230)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

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  (425): he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!" http://tfl.nu/83kf
  Replies (22) Good night (1553) Bad night (11741)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top

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  (405): New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top http://tfl.nu/zi79
  Replies (257) Good night (8557) Bad night (2564)
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  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3420) Bad night (8012)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Found your pants in the mailbox

  (646): View more from New York

  What were my pants doing in the mailbox?

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't know but there's postage on them

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  (516): Found your pants in the mailbox (646): What were my pants doing in the mailbox? (516): I don't know but there's postage on them http://tfl.nu/6yt8
  Replies (36) Good night (6162) Bad night (1348)
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  (714): View more from California

  we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet

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  (714): we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet http://tfl.nu/qhid
  Replies (12) Good night (4581) Bad night (1510)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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  (781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv
  Replies (11) Good night (1943) Bad night (1336)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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  (616): Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry. http://tfl.nu/rf2y
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (671)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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  (414): I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment. http://tfl.nu/4r7a
  Replies (8) Good night (840) Bad night (526)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.

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  (248): in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins. http://tfl.nu/5x9x
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (617)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.

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  (443): Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls. http://tfl.nu/mn9e
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (366)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.

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  (423): Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality. http://tfl.nu/q9e2
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (360)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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  (513): he just exposed your dildo usage to the table. http://tfl.nu/zocu
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (321)

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