Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done