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She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
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