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• (903): View more from Texas

  My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!

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• (425): View more from Washington

  A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'

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