Your tits are I can't wait for
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off