Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her