if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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