whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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