I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
