your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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