last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
