Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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