I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize